Here I always was, peeping, although I knew it was prohibited. Everyday I came, sun, wind, rain or hail. Ten o'clock sharp, I never missed a day, alone and peeping, wishing I was out there.
I wish I was sick that day so those brutes would have kept me in bed. Tied if it was necessary, but they wouldn't have let me out of that damn bed, my prison since twenty and my coffin when I'll die.
As always I went looking at that blessed garden, wishing that for a moment I'd be there, walking through the rows of white roses. Always wishing that I was home doing the same thing in my parents' garden. But no, here I was stuck in this damn hole. All because of that damn Paul, who after he had what he wanted from me, killed himself taking my mind to the grave with him.
That day the elements had united together. The garden was a sadness to look at and I was going to return to my room when something caught my eyes. It was professor Greenbottle, my doctor and walking beside him was Louise, my roommate. I always suspected that the doctor had a soft spot for Louise but I never realised it was mutual. They stopped and looked at each other. He made a step forward and kissed her. She moved back, startled and surprised. He caught her arm and pulled her towards him. He started to undress her, with fury and rage, tearing the clothes apart. She tried to fight him back but she hadn't the strength. After he raped her he got up and looked around. I ducked down afraid he would see. After he assured himself that no one had witnessed the obscenity of what he had just done, he got out a gun. Louise was on the soil trembling trying fruitlessly to cover herself with her hands. I couldn't believe my eyes. What was he going to do, surely not kill himself? But of course not, after all he wasn't Paul the loser. He had had what he wanted and it was time to eliminate the evidence. Nothing will be left to jeopardise his lovely career. He pointed the gun to her head and shot her. Hands firm on the gun. No hesitations. My blood ran cold. He picked up the body and stealthily moved to the lake. He dumped her there like she was a bag full of rotten potatoes. He arranged his clothes, got rid of the gun and began his retreat to the hospital. I set up and walked slowly to my room.
A quarter of an hour later, the doctor came to my room. I sat quietly trying hard to act normal, hoping that he doesn't realize that I had seen it all. But I suspected he knew. From that day onwards his attitude towards me changed. I was always on the alert, always on the look out, afraid that I would be next. I became drawn, closed in my own circle. Nobody could be trusted. People asked about Louise. Rumours were spread. People believed she had escaped.
I never summoned enough courage to relate what I had seen. But anyway, who would have ever believed the words of a mad woman. The window was my only connection to reality and the life I had left behind. Now it was tainted, dirtied with blood. It was never again the lovely garden of my dreams.
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