Up until just a few years ago, here in Malta the issue of divorce had been hardly, heard or thought of. We didn't have it and that was that. However, in the recent years someone dared mentioning in Parliament and now it's all anyone can talk about.
Unfortunately, like everything in Malta, even the issue of divorce is being politicized with the Labour party, who has the majority of members in favour of divorce, being depicted as the party who is going against the Church and that Catholic religion. It is true that the Church has its own rules and laws which may differ from the country’s law, and in fact, in my opinion, it is because of this difference and the power it still holds in Malta, that the issue of divorce has never been discussed before now. However, for me, no decisions on this issue should be taken on a political basis. This is an issue which need to be taken with a conviction, because one really believes that the position being taken is the one in which s/he really believes to be the right one. It is a moral question, not a political question and we should stop picturing it as such.
As a Catholic, I do believe that the Church has its rules which it needs to enforce, meaning that if you get married in Church, promising to adhere to the Church rules, then you should respect such laws as much as possible. However, in this country not everyone is Catholic or wants a Catholic marriage. So in this case, I don’t see how non Catholic people, or anyone else, not bounded by a Catholic marriage, be deprived of having the possibility to end their marriage and remarry again? Divorce is a state matter not a Church matter (the Church has annulment at its disposal to finish a marriage), and thus, the decision should be independent of any religions.
Then again, don’t the Catholics themselves have the right to re-marry if things don’t go well in their marriage? This is not a Vegas style divorce we are talking about. This is a thought of carefully type of divorce, taken by two consenting adults who have decided that their marriage is not working, and that staying within such a relationship will only make them unhappy and bitter, where it is easy for tempers to fly, and living in a prison-like relationship, in a place where it is difficult to consider home, your safe haven and where love is lacking. Because, after all what is marriage? The way I see it, marriage is a contract signed by two people who decide that they are ready to live in harmony together, loving each other, sharing the burdens and helping each other out. So if there is no love anymore, if people end up alienating each other, not being interested in adhere to the conditions set up by that contract, then, isn’t it better if that contract seizes to exist?
One of the many reasons given against divorce is the negative effect this has on children. But don’t children suffer just the same, if not more, when they are brought up in an environment where love and respect are lacking, and where there may perhaps be even violence? Single parents’ households are just as able to raise well mannered, well behaved and well educated children as any other two parent household. What is important for children when they are growing up is that they are loved and cared for. Time spent with the parents can be limited but as long as the children know that they can count on their parents, that they will be there whenever they need them, then the child will not suffer the horrible consequences that everyone attributes to divorce.
By this, I do not mean that divorce is a nice thing, and that I am in anyway happy when a marriage fails. Divorce is just a chance to try ones more to build up a long lasting relationship with someone you love, a better marriage of sorts, a new opportunity at finding happiness and love, an opportunity to start over again. But most importantly, I think it is an opportunity which everyone has a right for.
For myself, I obviously hope, if I ever was to get married, that I do not have a need to succumb to divorce, that my marriage lasts till death do us part. However, I just cannot bring myself to remove the possibility for others to have this option. Who am I to decide that a couple should not have the opportunity to start over with new people? Who am I to negate to others the opportunity to make use of all the rights and benefits that come with marriage. Some people may be against it because of their religious belief, and thus, even if their marriage fails, they will never file for divorce. But others may want to do so and it is only fair that they are given the possibility to do so. If one is Catholic and does not believe in divorce, s/he should show this belief by not using it, not by taking away the opportunity for others to use it.
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